Dear Shelby,

You are about to have a brutal fall off of Snooze, the horse you are riding. He is going to slam on his breaks in front of the jump and you are going to flip forward landing shoulders first on the opposite side of the fence without Snooze. You are going to be in pain and shock while staring at Snooze praying he does not jump the fence, because if he does you are going to be crushed. The pain is going to be a burning sensation that runs from your shoulders into your arms and fingers. The middle of your chest is going to be tight making you panic and feel as if you are not breathing correctly. To make matters worse, you will realize that the bridle slipped off of his face when you slid forward up his neck while falling. Snooze is going to take off into a gallop then stop, look at you with a devious glare, and then roll on the ground with your saddle on. Not only are you worried about yourself, you are now freaking out thinking that your saddle is being destroyed. The commotion gets even worse because your mom is going to come running into the arena and say “Shelby I told you that something bad was going to happen, and your knee better be okay.” She is not being mean, she is just upset because you did not listen to her and you are going in for knee surgery in a week because of the injury you got a few months in advanced. She does not want to see your knee hurt even more. You are also going to be really upset with yourself. Your confidence and pride will be crushed because you know for a fact that you got cocky about jumping Snooze. You knew for a fact that everyone who rides him falls off, but of course you have to be the best and ignore your mother’s advice. The recovery from the fall is going to be about a week and a half, and that’s just for you to be able to lift your arms about three quarters above your head.

            This fiasco of a fall should and will be prevented. The first step in preventing the fall is to listen to your mother. Mother knows best, although you don’t like admitting it. She specifically said not to ride him; therefore you must listen to her. She can predict the future and you know it! You seem to like to learn the hard way, but trust me; you do not want to learn the hard way this time. Secondly, when you get to the barn for your riding lesson you need to ask to ride another horse since you were assigned to Snooze a week in advanced. Then once you are on any other horse than Snooze, you will have a great lesson. You also need to keep in mind that you have a terrible knee and it is about to be operated on in a week or so. Staying healthy and safe is very important before the surgery. Just by taking your mom’s advice and switching horses will save you from a lot of pain.

Best wishes,

Shelby 

Redesign of Advertisement Essay – Reflection Guidelines

Going into the redesign of advertisement essay I was excited but apprehensive. I really like marketing and being creative so I was looking forward to the assignment. I used a horseback-riding magazine because I thought it would be a good magazine to work with. It was because it gave me a challenge and made me think about a lot of details. However, once I picked an advertisement I was nervous about redesigning it. I did not know what I wanted the final ad to look like. I also was unsure on to what my new audience was going to be, and how I was going to incorporate the rhetorical appeals into the new ad. I can be very indecisive and picky about how I want my final product to look, so this essay was challenging for me.

         When I started to redesign the ad I threw around several ideas. I drew out my original plan but I did not follow through with it. My original idea was to have a rider in the winner’s circle, and then have a catch phrase above the rider. The more I thought about it, I did not like it because I did not think it was going to do the rhetorical appeals justice. Then I started to think about my new audience of older conservative riders, and how I could appeal the new ad toward them. I thought about what I like to see in an ad, as a horseback-rider too. My final decision was to use an established Olympian and keeping the ad clean cut looking.

         As I stated earlier, this essay was a challenge for me. I found it hard to pick a new audience since the magazine I chose was already narrowed down to just horseback-riders. The original ad was geared toward younger wild riders so I changed the audience to conservative, older woman. I also found it hard to write about the redesign for 5-7 pages. I put a lot of thought into details and pondered on what else to ad into the paper. I went to the writing center to talk out more ideas and that helped me a lot. The writing center also aided me with sentence structures and punctuations. It was really helpful.

         I liked this assignment because it was not bland it was creative.  I used my creativity to help me redesign the advertisement. I also liked how I chose my own ad. I find it easier to write about a topic when I chose it and then use the assignment guidelines to write the essay. I love horseback riding so it was fun for me to redesign Dublin’s ad.

         This essay made me realize how much thought goes into advertisements. In a broader spectrum, I realized how detailed oriented people are. Details are key components and they make the advertisement. I defiantly have a greater understanding of ethos, pathos, and logos. The rhetorical appeals are tools that I will try to use in my writings when it’s appropriate. Rhetorical appeals made me realize how details are important to writing and visuals.

         If I had a second chance at writing this essay, I would not do anything differently. I liked how my magazine gave me a challenge. If I chose an advertisement that I could easily change I don’t think I would have gained as much from the essay. I would not have been as detailed and aware of the rhetorical appeals. Redesigning was a challenge, but I liked reworking it and figuring out how I wanted to project my new ideas. 

Shelby Aniel

Professor Rinke

Writing 150

12 October 2012

Process Memo

I began my timeline with first grade and went through every grade up until my senior year in high school, leaving out my first few weeks of college. First grade was when I started to read and write. I did a little bit in preschool and kindergarten but it would not have made sense to start with an insignificant phase of my education. Thinking about the past was not that hard for me. I vividly remember my reading and writing in elementary school and high school. Middle school was harder to remember because it was such a fast blur in my life. I can vaguely recall silent sustained reading and how I hated it. The only detail that really stuck out to me was how my mother use to sit down with me and mark up me English papers in red ink. She would explain to me what my mistakes were and I learned from her corrections.

While composing my literacy timeline I realized I have never liked reading. I also saw a pattern with my writing. The timeline was a clear indication that I never liked to read but I don’t mind writing. Over the years my writing has improved significantly. When it came time to write about my literacy I chose to focus on my writing. I came to the realization that writing really clicked for me in high school especially during my senior year. Writing is a tool that I will use for the rest of my life and I need to be good at it. My biggest challenge was during my senior year when I had to write a thirty-page research paper with hardly any guidelines. That’s when I used all the writing skills I ever acquired.

I had a hard time focusing on one area of writing since it was a process of building my skills throughout my school career. I knew I wanted to relate all of my writing instances to my DECA research writing project my senior year. The Animoto was easier for me because I solely made it about my goal of becoming and outstanding writer and that happened during my senior year.

            Writing my literacy narrative was a challenge. I had a hard time focusing my paper on one idea. I tried to relate all my writing experiences to my DECA project and how my writing pieced itself together over years of practice. Once I figured out how I wanted to write my story it was easy to write. It read chronologically starting with elementary school working its way up to high school. I used my timeline to help me write my rough draft. I tried to put as much detail into my timeline as possible that way it made my rough draft simple to put together. My partner pointed out grammar error that I over looked. I took her criticism into consideration when writing my final paper. She told to me to work on the ending and add more details about my learning in high school and how that affected my writing. I found her advice to be very helpful. While making my final edits to my narrative I tried to keep my Animoto video in mind. However, I realized once I submitted my paper, I had too many areas of focus and it needed to be narrowed down farther in order to make a good slideshow.

The peer review helped me decided on how I wanted to focus my Animoto slideshow. My partner picked out really good sentences but since my paper was covering such a vast range of my writing career it was hard to narrow down 15 sentences. I used several of the sentences that my partner suggested but when I had to edit my sentences to make it fit into the text boxes on Animoto. I used the feedback that you gave me as well. Your ideas helped me realize that I can really narrow down my paper for my slideshow presentation. Overall, I based my slideshow on my high school writing career.

            Editing was a challenge. I needed to use fewer words and still figure out how to say what I needed to use slightly different vocabulary fitting it into the 52-charater limits. Once I figured out what to say it was a breeze. My strategy for shortening sentences was simple. I wrote down the sentence I wanted to use then tried to type it out in a shortened way. I also left out certain words and let my pictures say what I needed. When editing, I learned that I could break up sentences by using ellipsis. Without the ellipsis I would have had a very choppy slideshow presentation that probably would not have been clear.

The pictures that I chose to use in my slideshow worked as buffers and were complimentary. For example, I used the ‘Aspire Higher’ DECA logo because that represented the theme of international competition being held in Salt Lake City Utah. I also used pictures of myself to complement the text slides. The last few text slides told that I reached my goal of becoming an outstanding writer. Since I focused a lot on my writing in high school, the last picture that is shown is my friend and I on graduation day celebrating and I felt that the picture was a good representation of reaching my writing goal. I also pulled pictures from the web that helped support my text. I choose the picture of the animated character that is climbing up the stairs because I felt that it best represented that I had to take the steps of becoming an outstanding writer. All the pictures that I used helped tell my writing literacy story. They not only gave the slideshow an appealing look but they supported my text. 

I chose the song “Your Hand in Mine” by Explosions in the Sky off the Friday Night Lights Soundtrack. The song does not have any lyrics, which I think helps set the tone for the slideshow. The song has a steady rhythm that keeps building as the song progresses. The song climaxes when I reach the climax of my story. The peak of my Animoto is when I talk about my thirty-page research paper. Also, the song is an instrumental that has a pump up feel and it fits my story line. The song helps promote the idea of me reaching my goal.

Now that I have had a chance to reflect, I would have tried to put in more personal pictures. I had a hard time deciding on what kind of pictures to use. My audience also suggested that I use more personal pictures. This would have given my slideshow a more personal attitude that my peers can relate to from their own experiences and memories. I did try use more pictures from DECA, but I did not have many so I had to substitute them for Internet pictures. One other aspect that I would change is the pace of the text frames. Some of the frames go by rather quickly. Looking back I would definitely slow it down.  

Nissan Leaf

I chose the Nissan Leaf commercial because it shows that the electric car is making a great impact on the world. The commercial portrays the idea of global warming through the use of a polar bear leaving the artic to find the owner of the Nissan Leaf to thank him. The polar bear leaves the artic because the ice is melting due to changes on the earth. He finds himself in the city searching for water, passing by a semi-truck on a road, and wandering through suburban areas. These images show that nature is diminishing slowly but surely and Nissan is taking a stance by making an electric car to help the environment.

Nissan is targeting a wide audience, but namely drivers. Americans want to go green, and the commercial gets the attention of those people because the car is electric. People who love animals are drawn into the commercial through the use of the polar bear and then find out the commercial is for the car. The commercial also gives off a middle class feeling because the man is wearing a suit leaving his suburban home to go to work in a green form. Nissan also reaches out to new teen drivers. Teens are the new generation of drivers and should become aware of the ecosystem and try to be as green as possible to save the earth for the future. Nissan sent many messages and targeted a wide range of demographics on the commercial. As Nissan said “it’s an innovation for all” not just one specific group of people. Nissan also used many different settings to show how far the polar bear was willing to travel. The music also sets the tone of the bear going on an adventure seeking to thank the man.

I believe this commercial is dominant-hegemonic because Nissan uses the bear to show the image the earth needs a change and the car will help make that belief happen. That is why the polar bear hugs the man who owns the Leaf. The bear is thanking and shows his friendship toward the man. The man is doing well for the environment and that is the idea that Nissan wants to show. 

Digital Literacy

2.         "After studying the matter, Ms. Davidson concluded, 'Online blogs directed at peers exhibit fewer typographical and factual errors, less plagiarism, and generally better, more elegant and persuasive prose than classroom assignments by the same writers.'"

            Ms. Davidson talks about how online blogs are better for students than an in class writing project. Blogs allow students to be creative and write outside the box, there is no format to a blog like there usually is with a traditional writing assignment. That being said, students feel more comfortable and relaxed using blogs. I think this has to do with the students growing up in the digital literacy generation. Students know how to use the technology and it lets them be more productive as a writer. Not as much plagiarism is seen using blogs because students do not feel as pressured and can be themselves while writing in their own personal area on the Internet. Also, not as many grammar errors are made because students know how to use the technology to their advantages. The computer can help with spelling and punctuation errors and I believe that helps make a student’s writing better. If a student is a visual learner is can show him/her what the mistakes were made and hopefully the student could learn from it. In a sense, blogs are a lot like the social media sites that teenagers use to using for communication. The blogs allow students to communicate ideas in an educational manner. Classroom writing assignments are stressful and teachers see poor work. This is why education is starting to use more technology. It not only makes the class more entertaining, but also creates quality work from students.